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Post by mypprincess on Jan 18, 2010 19:53:13 GMT -5
Great to finally see something positive about Jews in the news.
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Post by mypprincess on Jan 17, 2010 20:42:17 GMT -5
This past Holiday season I had a major run-in with my supervisor. We get paid double for holidays. We have 2 full time RNs, 2 full time LPNs, and lots of per-diems. The Dec. 25 and Jan. 1 both fell on Fridays the days I don't usually work. I asked her if she needs me and she said yes. So I cancelled the other places (that I'm per-diem) that asked me if I can work those days. About a week before Dec. 25 my supervisor told me she doesn't need me because she is overstaffed. I didn't say a word, after all, this is not my day. Dec. 30, when I checked the schedule for Jan. 1, I saw that my name is not on the list. Shocked I called her and she said that she told me she was overstaffed. I told her I didn't know and I thought I was going to work. She told me she was busy and I should be quick. So I hung up. Still shocked I announced to the 5 coworkers what happened. I said that I understand she forgot to tell me because she is so stressed from all the work she has. But I complained that I had other jobs lined up that I called to cancel when she told me I'll work that day. 2 other nurses told me they don't care to work that day, and I can go instead. I told them never mind, I don't want to make a big deal, I was just caught by surprise. The next day in the morning my supervisor calls and tells me in an upset voice that this is not how things work in this place, to talk behind her back. She said, "I am very close with my staff." IE- they tell me everything... "Instead of complaining to everyone and going yada yada yada, you should first talk to me and we can work things out." I told her, "I called you first." But she countered, "No, you complained first." She said she switched the schedule so I can come to work. Honestly, at this point I didn't care anymore, and told her that its OK, and I don't want to make a big deal. She countered, "You ALREADY made a big deal." At that point I decided that its best to apologize and arguing will only make matters worse. I Told her, "I'm sorry." She replied, "Thank you", and promptly hung up the phone. She never asked me for my side of the story. I ended up coming to work on New Years day, but I'm afraid that my relationship with my supervisor is badly damaged. When I have important topics that I must discuss with her about patients, she often tells me she can't talk now, and then when I bring it up she tells me, "You should have told me that." When I travel to the main office to bring supplies to save her time from doing it herself, she doesn't even thank me anymore. She became nasty, but is friendly and close to the others. I'm afraid to talk, lest I say something wrong. I'm afraid she'll report me for the slightest error. Last week I started having panic attacks at work that lasted for hours. They often continued when I was home. One night It kept me awake. My chest felt restricted. At first I didn't associate the 2, but I then realized that Sunday when she doesn't come in, when she is late or leaves early I'm much more relaxed. I need to do something before I get too sick to work. Leaving is not an option. I can loose my house if I do. I desperately need advice before I loose it.
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Post by mypprincess on Jan 12, 2010 19:25:14 GMT -5
Be strong! Don't let anyone dissuade you from doing what you want. Don't let anyone make you feel that you are not good at it. Just work hard and do your best. When I was just out of school I wanted to be a teacher. I was offered a job as a preschool teacher, but my mother told me, "You won't be good at it. Don't do it." I took in all the negative comments I received on a daily basis and it almost ruined my life. After I had my youngest child I decided that I will stop listening to others and that I will show them that I can. It is unbelievable how everyone's attitude to me changed. So, the moral of the story is to be respectful, but then do what you feel is best.
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Post by mypprincess on Jan 10, 2010 22:19:27 GMT -5
Lets not kid ourselves. It WILL NOT be easy. The best you can do now is to be very open to your kids, and make them feel involved. I sat down with my kids and explained to them our situation now, and how it would be with extra income. The 2 younger kids were too young to involve. I tried to include my 2 older kids who were 6 and 8 into many of my studies in a way that they could understand. I took pictures in school of me working in the microbiology lab and showed my kids. I also showed them colorful pictures of microbes in my book and explained to them in detail what happens when you don't wash your hands. When I had to know the names of every muscle and bone in the body, I asked them to test me. They had a blast! Then it was my turn to test them for their homework! My kids felt included and learned alot as a result. People always wondered from where my kids acquired such vast knowledge. And the unexpected positive result: My kids saw how serious I was with my studies, and realized the importance of it. Until this day I never have to beg my kids to do my homework! When my kids come home from school they do their homework before anything else. When I come home from work most of the homework is done. They only wait for me to answer any questions they have. Hatzlacha! Oh, and one more thing. If you have to choose between keeping the house perfectly clean and preparing 4 course meals, or spending time with the kids, just think what is more important.
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Post by mypprincess on Jan 10, 2010 20:44:26 GMT -5
The road you are taking is not easy, but very rewarding at the end. When I went to school my children were babies and I went to school full time. It bothers me because I missed out alot. I was never home chol hamoed when my husband took my kids on trips. I was also in school on Purim and erev Yom Kippur, and was hardly home in the morning to get my kids ready for school. They always waited with a neighbor. Did you try to get your neighbors to help? It was sometimes extremely hard. But I knew that quitting was not an option. If I quit now I will loose the respect I gained from my husband and family. I will loose the future income and my self esteem with it. I could not let this happen. Before I went into nursing my husband tried to dissuade me because he honestly believed I will fail. I told him "I'm going to school if you like it or not!" Now, my husband and I have a totally different relationship. He started respecting me. I never had that. He used to see me as the one that bore his children, cleans his house, and cooks his foods. He respected me for that. He even complimented me on all that, but my opinion never mattered. Now he sees me for the person I am. Thinking back now I can only wonder how I was able to pull through. Nobody believed I was going to make it. I didn't listen to them. At the end, I didn't just graduate, I did so with honors. The first summer after graduating I didn't send my kids to camp but spent every moment with them. I loved it. I took them on weekly trips, and we did fun projects together. We had a great time. Now that I'm working I'll have money to do things with my kids that would never have been possible. I'll tell you what I'm always telling my kids. THE OUTCOME IS ONLY AS MUCH EFFORT YOU PUT INTO IT. You can do it!! And do not let any obstacles stand in your way. If you can't remove them, just go around them.
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Post by mypprincess on Jan 6, 2010 19:08:54 GMT -5
beki, welcome! I had the exact same issue as a new grad not too long ago. It took me over a year after earning my license to land a full time job because nobody would hire me if I had to be home by 4 on winter Fridays. But it was a blessing in disguise. I applied for a job as a caseworker for the mentally ill. I was worried because its a 9-5 job, and it takes over half hour to get home. When I went to the interview I was told that the job is available only if I agree to work Sundays to Thursdays because they have a problem finding nurses that are willing to work on Sundays. I "agreed" but countered that the pay has to match my willingness to come in every single Sunday. She thought a moment and offered 10000 a year over the starting salary! Its a good thing I sat when she told me that or I would have lost my balance...
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Post by mypprincess on Jan 5, 2010 19:16:14 GMT -5
Rivkah, I thought alot about your question, and after a while I came to the conclusion that there is a huge difference between the mentally ill and neviim. That is also the same difference between the true and false neviim. The neviim saw and said things that ended up being true, and saving a soul did not make their lives and the lives of the people around them miserable. The false neviim just said things that the people wanted to hear. The mentally ill believe that they have to save the world and ruin their and their families lives as a result. Does it make sense?
I was unsure if I should share this here, but there is a very real reason that I feel empathy towards my patients. I have a very close family member that had 3 breakdowns. The last one was about 11 years ago, and he was never left alone for the 3 months he stayed in the hospital. It was me and my husband that spent every shabbos with him.
When I started working in the psychiatric facility it brought back memories that I did not want to remember. Every time my patient does something my family member did, I get lost in memory lane and feel intense empathy to my patient. Sometimes I'm thinking what my coworkers would think if they would know... When I started nursing school I always thought I will go into psychiatric nursing but changed my mind when I did my clinical rotation in a psychiatric hospital. The wound was too fresh and I was a wreck. But I couldn't find a job and ended up accepting my current position. I'm coping now better than when I started, but its not easy.
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Post by mypprincess on Jan 3, 2010 21:34:14 GMT -5
I'm working in an unlocked psychiatric facility. Patients live there but are free to go shopping and come as they wish. My problem is that I get too emotionally involved with my patients. The good part of it is that my patients feel my empathy and let me know that. My coworkers and supervisor have told me that I'm very good with them. But the empathy of so many patients is leaving me exhausted. I researched everyone's illness to the smallest detail so I can understand them better. I then put myself in their situation and can almost feel their pain. I was told from the beginning that it's important to have some distance to our patients but their pain is real, and nobody understands them for who they really are. Patients have opened up to me and told me the darkest secrets of their illness. Any suggestions?
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Post by mypprincess on Dec 30, 2009 21:44:03 GMT -5
jewishnurse, it must be horrible to endure such open harassment. It must have been very uncomfortable to say the least. I for one have felt harassed, although it is very hard for me to figure out who the culprits are. Take this Chanukah for example: A day after Thanksgiving, a beautiful tree was set up with decorations, lights with fake gifts underneath. The radio constantly played Holiday music so much so that I can sing them in my dreams . If that wasn't enough, my desk is right across the tree and I had to stare at it all day. My supervisor very graciously asked me to bring a Menorah. At first I wasn't interested, but then I decided I needed a nice Menorah to counter the festive holiday environment. I brought a nice Menorah from home and inserted long, white, wax candles. Sunday morning, when I came to work I found the Menorah hidden in the back of the dresser with 2 candles broken. I assumed it fell by mistake and placed it back in its place. The next day, when I came to work I found the Menorah upside down with another candle broken. This repeated itself several times. Until the day I came to work to find the candles fixed and placed in a high shelf right across my desk. The sweetest nurse I work with did that for me. Where I work, the black nurses are harassed by patients, although some in a very subtle manner. One patient refused to answer to the nurse's questions complaining, "I don't answer to black people. I'll get stubbed fingers." One story was hilarious. A black patient came to our office for a scheduled haldol injection. The big black nurse came to her with the long, thick needle and asked her to drop her pants. She freaked out and complained, "I don't trust black nurses!" She then pointed to me and demanded, "I want the white nurse to do that." I explained to the patient that she is a great nurse that does a super job and not to worry. Then I told her to apologize because she hurt that nurse's feelings. She did. I asked the patient if she trusts her mother... ;D
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Post by mypprincess on Dec 30, 2009 20:25:06 GMT -5
Rivka and achot, thanks for your reply. At this psychiatric facility, I don't work on a unit. Rather, I work in the office on the ground floor as a caseworker. Therefore, I don't wear any uniforms. The patients come in for scheduled visits where I have to do a full physical, develop a nursing care plan for the next 2 months, supervise the home health aid if the patient has one, assure that there is no problem with the medications, etc. Then I type it out and send for the MD to sign. Today a patient started acting inappropriately and I immediately told him, "You can't do that." in a nice way. The patient paused. We have a female patient that openly tries to sell her body for money. Then she denies it. I have always believed that nurses have many stories that should be organized and published. It can be divided into sections: 1. weird 2. funny 3. sad 4. scary etc. etc. It would be a very good read What do you think?
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Post by mypprincess on Dec 29, 2009 20:29:35 GMT -5
As a woman working in a psychiatric facility, I continuously find myself in bad situations. Most nurses working there are fat, old, misshapen or all of the above. I am young, and how can I put it? I work out on a regular basis and maintain my shape. My issue is not with my coworkers, but rather with my patients. Every morning when I walk to the door the patients run to hold it open for me. If I have bags or supplies they run to my car anxious to be of assistance. Whenever I pass patients in the hallway they smile to me, wave, ask if I'm married or even try to get close to me. When I give patient teachings they answer inappropriately. For instance, I tried to teach a patient deep breathing techniques. Instead of return demonstrating the patient responded with "You are beautiful." My first week on the job I had a scare. I was told not to use the staircase because the patients can corner easily. So I took the elevator. On the elevator I always stand on the side and keep my eyes and ears open. One patient made me uncomfortable and I was happy when it was time for me to leave the elevator. The patient exited with me. When I went back to the elevator, the patient followed me inside! I told him, "You do not need to come back down now. Why are you following me?" His response? "I wanna make sure you are safe." I strictly told him that I don't need his help and I will not tolerate such behavior. He never did such things again. My question is: As a nurse I have to be nice to my patients and make them feel worthy and good about themselves. Being ill, most of them do not understand boundaries. I stopped using makeup, but refuse to go to work looking like a dork. I started wearing my wedding ring, and that has kept some patients in check. Any suggestions?
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Post by mypprincess on Mar 23, 2009 0:31:07 GMT -5
Gedalia Goomber? Sorry, but I'm clueless.
Rivkah, lots of hatzlacha for your new job. Not working on shabbos will bring more beracha into your house. This Friday I went to what I thought was a job interview. They gave me several tests. One was on medication administration, one on infection control, and one on HIPPA rules. After reviewing them, I was sent to the girl that does scheduling. I was never even interviewed. But I'm not officially hired until they check out my references. I hope my professors from nursing school will say something nice to them. My present boss did write me a very nice recommendation letter but its not enough. They need at least 3. Anyways, I hope something will come of it.
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Post by mypprincess on Mar 10, 2009 1:13:11 GMT -5
Does any of you dress up? How about your kids? I typically dress up every year with something small. This year, being in the sheloshim I won't. Unable to buy costumes I had to come up with something original. This morning we were still unsure what to do. Until my kids came up with this great creative idea. They all took oversize tan colored or jeans pants, oversize T-shirts. HUGE woolen tzitsis on top fastened in place with a thick rope around their waste. They even worked real hard to make their payos messy. The only thing we had to buy was the huge na nach nachmu kapel. They run around singing "mitzvah gedola liyos besimcha tumid" (composed by Nachman himself) and they have never been happier with expensive costumes. Actually, they are even happier. (its more comfortable) And to top it off, my in laws supplied me with cute na nach stickers which they will now plaster all over themselves...
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Post by mypprincess on Mar 9, 2009 13:17:13 GMT -5
Medic, thank you for the link. Very informative while also interesting.
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Post by mypprincess on Mar 4, 2009 10:02:49 GMT -5
Thank you medic09 for your comforting words. They brought tears to my eyes.
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