Dealing with stress as a Jewish Nurse

[achot]

As jewish nurses, what factors increase your stress levels and how do you deal with it?
I just gave an inservice to my staff on this issue and opened pandora's box.
We could have gone on for such a long time, we have so much on our plates and we dont get to use the normal stress busters like other "normal" people.
What do you think?

[medic09]

Very interesting question, achot!

It varies with my jobs.

In the hospital, casual contact is a small but recurring inconvenience. I don't really stress out about it. My colleagues mean well, but they don't 'get it' that hugs and impromptu shoulder rubs aren't acceptable between genders in 'my culture'. It was quite funny/strange that I got an unasked for hug the other night from the Charge, and quipped 'is this when I file a harassment complaint?' That was meant to remind her that isn't appropriate for me as Jewish man. She responded with 'oh, no; that's if I do this...' and proceeded to give me a quick shoulder rub. OTOH, at least she goes out of her way to give me time to daven arvit.

Lashon hara, and generally immodest conversation is another biggie. The other night women were telling stories about their anatomies. Clearly Too Much Information Syndrome.

On my flight job, we travel pretty far. We fly critical care patients for specialty care by Learjet; often right across North America. We almost never land someplace where I can get decent (read 'fresh' or 'restaraunt') kosher food. Imagine the stress when we flew into Teterboro, NJ one Thursday evening and were grounded till Friday! No kosher food nearby, we have to be available Friday near the plane for takeoff as soon as we're cleared to fly again. So there I am having to come up with food beyond what I normally take, had to daven in my hotel room rather than find a shul (always have my tefillin and something to learn!), and wondering if we'll get back to NM in time for Shabbat, including the hour drive I have to get home. And my wife, who works on Fridays, now didn't have me to help make Shabbat.

Another time we were flying a patient from Mexico to British Columbia, Canada. We had to emergency land in El Paso, TX and spend the night and much of the next day. Wasn't close to Shabbat that time, but food was a hassle. I hate eating Graham Crackers and water while the crew is having steaks and fresh pizza. Of course, I didn't worry 'bout that as much as having to care for our patient while being hosted by the local ER.

Overall, scheduling is the biggest issue. Not working Shabbat or Yom Tov is doable, but not always something that admins or colleagues easily understand. In Taos I was being offered a paramedic job a few years back. When I explained that I don't work on 'Saturday because it's the Sabbath, or Jewish holidays', she innocently looked at me and asked 'what's a Jewish holiday?' I didn't get the job, because it made their scheduling too difficult. I had another job in an urgent care, where it was clear I wouldn't take the job unless there were no questions about my 'no Shabbat or Yom Tov' schedule. This was a new outfit, and I ended up coordinating and doing schedules. My second year there, I scheduled myself off for ten days around Pesah as expected. The schedule was covered and the staff happy to have extra days for this good paying job. The boss blew up for some reason, and I had no choice but to quit.

[achot]

Boy you make Big Gedalia Goomber seem like a homebody,,, Kol Hakavod on your committment to Kashrut and Mitzvot in the most remote and challenging situations. Kol Hakavod to your wife...You should be zocheh to much nachas from your children,

Regarding coworkers gestures, I have trouble with some of my better looking, married, jewish, male nurses aides who find themselves pursued by the younger arab staff of the opposite gender .
Since they are embarrassed to say anything themselves for fear that they will be accused of being the aggressor, I have to step in and tell the arab young lady that her behavior is inappropriate. Happened 3 times.

[mypprincess]

As a woman working in a psychiatric facility, I continuously find myself in bad situations. Most nurses working there are fat, old, misshapen or all of the above. I am young, and how can I put it? I work out on a regular basis and maintain my shape. My issue is not with my coworkers, but rather with my patients.
Every morning when I walk to the door the patients run to hold it open for me. If I have bags or supplies they run to my car anxious to be of assistance. Whenever I pass patients in the hallway they smile to me, wave, ask if I'm married or even try to get close to me.
When I give patient teachings they answer inappropriately. For instance, I tried to teach a patient deep breathing techniques. Instead of return demonstrating the patient responded with "You are beautiful."
My first week on the job I had a scare. I was told not to use the staircase because the patients can corner easily. So I took the elevator. On the elevator I always stand on the side and keep my eyes and ears open. One patient made me uncomfortable and I was happy when it was time for me to leave the elevator. The patient exited with me. When I went back to the elevator, the patient followed me inside! I told him, "You do not need to come back down now. Why are you following me?" His response? "I wanna make sure you are safe." I strictly told him that I don't need his help and I will not tolerate such behavior. He never did such things again.
My question is: As a nurse I have to be nice to my patients and make them feel worthy and good about themselves. Being ill, most of them do not understand boundaries. I stopped using makeup, but refuse to go to work looking like a dork. I started wearing my wedding ring, and that has kept some patients in check.
Any suggestions?

[Rivka P]

MyPPrincess,
I am sorry to hear about your difficulties at work with patient's inappropriate behavior. That does sound stressful. I had an instance recently with a coworker making a really inappropriate comment and also considered not wearing make-up anymore. I don't know off the top of my head what to suggest to you, but just want to offer empathy.

[achot]

I, too, try to minimize or not wear make up, and guess what,as an older fogie, I can testify that it doesn't get better when you get older.
Any suggestions obviously don't apply to a psych ward, where the world as we know it, is topsy turvy.
I am sure you are already doing the standard suggestions. you stay professional, avoid tight fitting uniforms, short skirts etc, wear your wedding band all the time, stay in public places and avoid being alone with any patient.
Any patient who want to hold a door for you or help you with your packages or bring you a cup of coffee should be turned down, tell them you will open your own doors and carry your own packages and make your own cup of coffee etc. It worked in the elevator and sends a clear message.
You have to make your patients feel respected and as worthy as any other human being (gam hem naldu be Tzelem Elokim) but you dont need to go further. As to making them feel good about themselves, do so in a pareve, cheerful and public manner, when alone with a patient keep the contact clinical and less personal.

Perhaps there is a mentor at work who you can go to for advise on a specific patient? You can also ask the unit Psychiatrist, Psychologist.

Bear in mind that some medications have side effects that can increase the patients interest in members of the opposite gender...

I dont think it will help if you go to your Supervisors and I would save that for a real problem.

I dont know if this helps but in conversations at work I frequently mention my husband, making sure people know that I am happily married.

Good luck...

[mypprincess]

Rivka and achot, thanks for your reply. At this psychiatric facility, I don't work on a unit. Rather, I work in the office on the ground floor as a caseworker. Therefore, I don't wear any uniforms. The patients come in for scheduled visits where I have to do a full physical, develop a nursing care plan for the next 2 months, supervise the home health aid if the patient has one, assure that there is no problem with the medications, etc. Then I type it out and send for the MD to sign.
Today a patient started acting inappropriately and I immediately told him, "You can't do that." in a nice way. The patient paused.
We have a female patient that openly tries to sell her body for money. Then she denies it.
I have always believed that nurses have many stories that should be organized and published. It can be divided into sections: 1. weird 2. funny 3. sad 4. scary etc. etc. It would be a very good read
What do you think?

[achot]

Dec 30, 2009 20:25:06 GMT -5 mypprincess said:

Rivka and achot, thanks for your reply. At this psychiatric facility, I don't work on a unit. Rather, I work in the office on the ground floor as a caseworker. Therefore, I don't wear any uniforms. The patients come in for scheduled visits where I have to do a full physical, develop a nursing care plan for the next 2 months, supervise the home health aid if the patient has one, assure that there is no problem with the medications, etc. Then I type it out and send for the MD to sign.
Today a patient started acting inappropriately and I immediately told him, "You can't do that." in a nice way. The patient paused.
We have a female patient that openly tries to sell her body for money. Then she denies it.
I have always believed that nurses have many stories that should be organized and published. It can be divided into sections: 1. weird 2. funny 3. sad 4. scary etc. etc. It would be a very good read
What do you think?

Is it possible that BECAUSE you dont wear a uniform, you are more open to harassment ...(and I am not justifying it) but I would recommend you wear a white lab coat over your street clothes.

Obviously a full physical should be done with the option of another person in the room. Perhaps the Home Health Aid if there is one. I assume your office is near other offices that are occupied.

I am glad that the patient stopped when you told him his behavior is inappropriate but hope you have a back up plan in case he didn't.

Lots of people try to sell their body for money...and dont deny it...I guess her denying it means she thinks it is wrong even if she gives into the Yetzer Hora of continuing to try. She must be desperate and I think the behavior is indicative of a deeper problem or unmet need.

While I agree with you that we have lotsa stories, I think if such a book were published, we would lose the publics trust in us, If you look it up we are on the top of the list in terms of public trust and it is because we DONT publish stories from the dark side...
So feel free to share your stories here!!