Talked to my daughter's social worker

[chayan]

My 5-year-old daughter is seeing a social worker in school because of some behavior issues. Well, today she told me that my daughter is in serious need of more mommy in her life. Yes, she has a point and she is aware of what my schedule is like as a nursing student. I thought I was doing a good job not making my family suffer but I guess not.

I'm trying very hard to take this constructively and not just wallow in negativity and self-pity. I know I need to work on being more there, more present with my kids. I just feel so overwhelmed. It's not like I went to school seeking a great adventure because home life was too boring. I'd like nothing better than to be a SAHM but we need some income to survive...

Any words of support or encouragement would be welcome.

[malkieh]

first of all **hugs**

How much longer do you have of nursing school?

Just know there is a means to end, and eventually you will have more time. I know it's hard to see that and I know it's especially difficult with a young one. I have older ones, and they love that I have more homework than they do..

[chayan]

I have 4 weeks left. It's only 2 days a week at this point. I worry though what will happen when I'm working full time (may Hashem help me find a job quickly, amen.)

[malkieh]

amen!!

Just find a job and relax... there are always people trying to put you down when your making an attempt at getting your family into a better financial position.

Just breath, and hug your child over and over again. If it's only two days a week, spend some one on one time with your daughter

[achot]

Wow, what a guilt trip. I can totally understand how you feel and I am sure that the SW is just doing what she feels is best for your daughter. You have to cut corners in other ways, This is the time to use disposable dishes, be less concerned about the dust in the corners and on the book shelves or whatever and try to spend some quality time with your 5 year old. You can creatively find ways to do double duty and have yr dtr help you make dinner, go shopping for groceries together etc. You can have her do her "homework" while you do yours etc.
Someone once told me, you can redo your kitchen but you can never redo your children.
Even if it means a B on a course that you'd prefer an A, it might be worth it.
You are at the home stretch, stay positive, patient and focused, dont waste energy on negative emotions.
Smiles, Hugs and kisses, Achot

[chayan]

Thanks for the tips, Achot.

I think I would have been more receptive to what she had to say had she started by acknowledging everything that I AM doing, for my daughter and in my life in general. Instead, well, she made it seem that I was not meeting ANY of my daughter's needs, which I know is not true. Sometimes you need to learn from the negative examples--of how not to speak to MY clients when I'm in that situation.

[abby]

huh. i don't know anything about having kids, but i know that kids are resilient. school is for sure stressful but it's not forever - hopefully when it's over things will calm down and i'm sure your daughter will fine.

my mother was in school when i was little and i remember that it was stressful for us kids. but i think this and her working after ultimately made us more flexible, easygoing people. not a bad thing...