graduation date

[malkieh]

So our graduation date is set for June 15th, sadly a friday night 6 pm.

The class got together and moved it back to 5:30, it was really nice

Today they did a survey about costs etc.. One of the people doing the arrangements for the graduation suggested that we do fundraising.

So I raised my hand and pointed out that while it's a great idea, we have to keep in mind that we all have exams and papers due. Plus a big senior project at the end of the semester. That it would be a good idea to be organized and take into account that it would probably be better to do it before our last class which includes two 12 hour shift preceptorship for 5 weeks.

This young woman looked at me like I had been the rudest person in the world and responded "you do not have to help with fundraising if you do not want too." I saw her after class and it looked like she was crying, so I tried to say I was sorry. But I cannot help it if I like to keep my life organized, she did not care.

My class is so immature... Making me second guess if I really want to do the graduation ceremony, but I want my graduation pin... I am torn

[chayan]

Congrats on your upcoming graduation!

In my class I guess we were lucky, one of the "student fees" that we had to pay on enrollment was for a graduation party, so it was already covered. (Turns out that there were fees that we paid that were supposed to go to things like a yearbook, but since we never found this out until a couple months before graduation, a yearbook never happened.)

Class discussions like this are for everyone to speak their mind and bring up the points they think are important, so I don't think you were rude for saying your opinion.

[malkieh]

My class is angry at me that I cannot participate because it's a friday night. My husband an I picked another day and drove home around the same time, and it took over an hour!

They feel as though I am not part of the group because I do not want to participate. But it's a friday night, the two other students that are frum are participating, but they live closer then I do so for them it's possible...

So that I would not think about it, we are going away on a family trip to celebrate.


Now my class is angry at me, because they "bent over backwards" so that we could attend (there are three of us that are frum). I am the only one of the three not attending, because the other two live closer.

So now when I try to set up other learning opportunities, it's like the undermine me and try to do it on Saturdays so that I loos the opportunity. It's so frustrating! I did the research I gave the entire class the idea of doing the extra education.. It hurts

But it also reminds me how immature this class is, which was another reason I was not jumping to graduate with them.

*sigh*

[medic09]

For what it is worth, I could not attend the graduations for either of my university degrees. My wife couldn't attend her graduation from med school. In order to make it to her residency graduation on a Shabbat afternoon, we had to find a bed and breakfast in the little village where it occurred, spending money we didn't have, and then angered the owner because she misunderstood and we wouldn't/couldn't vacate till Shabbat was over (very late on a summer Shabbat). We missed one kid's graduation, and made part of the other but had to leave early to make it home for Shabbat. I'm sure we'll have other incidents like this if we all continue back to school from time to time. There is no question that life for a Jew in galut entails other trade-offs that we would prefer not to contend with.

I'm sorry you are catching flack over this. There is no question that one of the tasks we face as Jews in a non-Jewish society and workplace is to explain ourselves just so others can understand our good intentions. It is an ongoing necessity. I've had it be an issue in the workplace over scheduling and participation in various events, and all one can do is the clearest, most respectable job of explaining the issues. After that, we can't control how others will react, or whether they'll cooperate/help us out or not.

[malkieh]

thanks medic it helped...

[achot]

Malkie, Oh my goodness, so much drama, just when you dont need it! Believe it or not, I didnt attend any of my graduations, because I had gone to school for the education and not the social activities. I didnt make a big deal about it, I just didnt show. I paid my portion like everyone else. If this is so important for you , perhaps you can spend Shabbos closer to the place of the graduation. However you have to decide what YOU want, the graduation is just a ceremony marking your graduation. You can still be the most amazing nurse without attending. You dont have to give your coworkers excuses, you are all adults and you can say you have a greater commitment that coincides with the graduation (Shabbos with your family). Its always best to be low key for these things. Please remember that this is not the ikar in life, and dont make the mistake of making the ikar tafel and the tafel ikar. Again, pay your share, and keep your inability to attend low key. Stay friendly and upbeat about the graduation activities. And dont dwell on your inability to attend. Congrats on this momentous achievement!

[malkieh]

Yeah I spoke with a couple of my friends in the course and they were very supportive and understanding.

I did find a place I could spend shabbos closer to the place of graduation, but unfortunately my family is dealing with a loss and I am being pressured to visit certain family members ASAP. It has been two years since I have been able to travel because of school.

[achot]

Malkie, Please remember that at the end of the day, your family is your family. You will never see on a matzaivah " beloved nurse" but you will see "beloved mother, grandmother, wife etc." There is nothing wrong with prioritizing family obligations over a social function. You will still graduate whether you attend the ceremony or not. If they are distributing something special, ask one of your (real) friends to bring one for you. Interestingly enough, at my graduation, a friend brought me a candy dish that was engraved for the occasion and had been distributed. Many years later I noticed it in a box of things, and was happy to give it back to her, as it meant more to her.